Wowzas……… Christmas is over and I have a belly full of love and life!

Today Brandon and I went on a walk around our house. For those of you who don’t know our love story, I’m excited to share it with you. I believe everyone wishes for true love. Deep down, we want to find the person GOD designed for us. Along our quest to love we bump into some people along the way. Sometimes our mind tells us that we love them, when we really don’t, we’re just feeling “lonely.” Or sometimes, we simply just pick a bad one… Whatever the case may be, when we’re picking who we think fits our life, it typically doesn’t work out.

For the past three years I have been working with my spiritual coach on self-development,  self-acceptance and self-love. With the passing of my mother and raising my sister, I learned quickly that I needed to have a support system in place for myself, my home and most importantly my desires and dreams. One thing that I knew about myself is that I wanted the opportunity to have a family. I wanted to experience love and I wanted to find a partner to share the journey with. That all sounds amazing, but I had no idea that I was in control of how I manifested that in my life. So after one failed relationship to the next, I continued to question why I wasn’t attracting the man of my dreams? What I was about to learn had me feeling completely lost and somewhat depressed.

My spiritual coach asked me to write a letter that described what my future husband looked like, SOUNDED like, how his hands looked, how he made me feel, what his job was… and the list went on and on. I immediately became puzzled at what seemed to be a crazy writing assignment! None the less, I was willing to do what was asked of me. So, I went home and over the next few weeks wrote this somewhat awkward letter to a man that didn’t exists about my desires and needs.  The process was somewhat heartbreaking and certainly made me cry. I was attracting the wrong people, because I never truly had a vision for what I wanted.  And what I wanted, seemed a little “fairytaleish.”

My life consists of my sister and daughter, training, my career, friends, community, giving back, being of service and self-development. Anything outside of that doesn’t exist in my bubble. Therefore, meeting men is not exactly easy. And, Sacramento has an icky way of passing it’s people around to one another, and everyone seems to be caught up in the party life… Which didn’t fit into my life. In essence, I kinda felt like I landed in the wrong city and state for that matter.  

The magic….. So, I’ve now completed my letter to my future husband, forgave myself for picking not so good men and also honoring the ones that were awesome.  Then, I just let it be! I spend a lot of time at home. I call it my little oasis. It’s peaceful and I don’t feel like I’m in Sacramento. One day as I was sitting outside I heard a man’s voice… Yes, I said I heard a man’s voice. BIG deal your thinking. To me, it was. I never responded to a person’s voice. I sat there unable to see this man, but was very intrigued by his voice. Months passed, I never saw him or met him. I heard him a few times at the pool and would jokingly tell my girls,  “My husband is at the pool.” We’d giggle, peak out to see if we could see him and then go back to whatever it was we were doing. Over the course of the year, I would talk about him with my spiritual coach. Listen to him and quietly smile and giggle every time I’d tell the girls I heard him.  After almost a year of this… our paths crossed. I immediately text my spiritual coach and shared that I had finally met my husband…

The days, weeks and months that followed our first hello have turned out to be everything I ever wanted and desired. He is the man that I designed in my journal, which I manifested in my life.

Patience is a virtue but faith is a must. You must have faith and trust in your ability to achieve and live your wildest dreams. If you sit still long enough to feel, you can create and visualize what you desire in your life. I am now living a fairytale with the man of my dreams. I’m deeply excited for our baby our future and for the opportunity to continue to visualize and manifest my wildest dreams. God is good!!!

A true love story.

Love,

Jess

Shhhhhhhhhh, let's take this all in!

It’s been 17 years since I had my daughter. It’s been six years since I lost my mother. It’s frightening to realize both. My mother was a huge role in my life and my daughter’s life. She helped me figure out how to be a mom, when I had no idea what the hell I was doing. My mom is the success behind my daughter learning how to wear big girl panties, and why binkies had to go bye bye. She was so awesome at being a grandma. She was also my strength, when I didn’t have my own.. And she never doubted my abilities to be me. I miss that… a lot!

I pulled out my journal a couple nights ago and started to read some entries from college. I feel like I was reading about someone else’s life. It was pretty crazy. Beings that I was only 17 when I had my daughter, I by no means was able to be present and experience her birth and motherhood like I will be able to do now. I feel more scared now than I do back then… When I was 17 I had no idea what to expect. I just went thru the motions. 17 years later, I’m full of life experience and motherhood. I expect that some of my worry comes from knowing that it can be super challenging and difficult being a mom. But then again, I’ve been a single mom and sole provider for my family the entire time, and that in itself is a challenge.

I’d like to think that most women can relate to this. Finding out you’re pregnant brings an assortment of emotions to surface. From excitement to fear and everything in between. For me, I needed to take time and absorb this new beginning for me. Because honestly, I didn’t foresee any babies in my future.. I was saving my money to travel the world after my sister and daughter graduated high school. Which means in the next year, I was going to leave the country and experience life in other parts of the world. I also found myself questioning my abilities to be a “mommy” again. Being so young my first time brought lot’s of trials and errors to my motherly journey. It also brought a lot of opinions and critics from people who were not mothers at the time, or had no idea what my story was or my background! I struggled with that for a long time. In my mind and my heart, I believe that I did awesome. Today, that is the only thing that truly matters. Me accepting my experience as my own, without the doubters, non-believers and Debbie downers.

It’s funny how we can map out our lives, put timelines and plans to it. Then God shows up and shows us his plans; and for me his plan is dramatically different! 

So, five months later grounded happy and excited, I decided to share my story with all of you.

<3 Jess

Stage.......... and pregnancy.. Holy Moly...

The official announcement has been made.. THANK GOODNESS.. The past few months have been so hard not sharing the exciting news about the baby! From a physical and mental state it’s been hard because I see my body changing, regardless if the changes are small.. I’m changing. So, it’s a little uncomfortable being in the gym or public for that matter and wondering if people think I’m just gaining weight or what…

Let’s catch you all up a little… I found out I was preggo three days after I competed for the Fitness World Championship in Vegas on Aug 22^nd.. In a way, I felt relieved when the doctor told me the exciting news.. Because, I was being extremely hard on myself for not being able to figure out my water weight.. I was so friggin disappointed that I didn’t master the process…. The purpose for my doctors appt initially was to get my blood panels checked.. I was feeling pretty icky and my body wasn’t responding to ANYTHING… It all makes perfect sense now… My body was trying to tell me that a little baby was growing. Good thing I’m an ALL natural athlete. I don’t drink, smoke or put anything in my body that doesn’t belong in it… Well sometimes maybe a FroYo… HA

 Here’s a few pix of me on stage in Vegas… Crazy to think that I’m preggo.. Even crazier is that I’m going to attempt stepping back on stage three month after my baby is born…

 Welcome to my adventure of being fit, sexy, healthy, strong, a business woman, an entrepreneur, a

coach and mother… The journey is the balance of the beautiful elements I call my LIFE..

xo

Water weight and rice cakes

Stepping on stage for my first World Championships in August was such a thrilling experience. The highlight of my trip was standing on stage next to Andrea Brazier.

During my last month of training for this show, I started to feel very discouraged. I had changed things up concerning my training. This year, I worked with Danny Castillo UFC fighter on my conditioning. The things Danny had me doing, are things I've never done before. I was putting in the effort, I stayed honest on my nutrition, but I knew that my body wasn't changing like it needed to, in order for me to step on stage..

Determined to give it my all, I stay focused and kept my mind in a positive place... I knew in that final week, my biggest challenge would be to figure out my water weight.. Something I always struggle with.

THANK GOD, during this process I had Chris Hintz with fivestar nutrition guiding me on my meal prep... It made me feel more confident about the way I approached my final weeks... Even though I knew something was off, and I felt very sluggish... I trusted the process...

Arriving in Vegas was almost tearful... I walked into the host hotel... And, immediately saw my direct competition. I knew that my body hadn't come in the way it needed to. No longer able to access Chris or Danny, I decided to make some drastic changes in the last 48 hours before show time.... rice cakes and sugar free jelly.... As in bags and bags bags of them... Every two hours I was up eating these rice cakes, without being able to wash them down with water. It felt like sand paper in my mouth... Not to mention that I was extremely exhausted. I was looking forward to doing nothing but relax on my arrival to Vegas... No kids, no work, no worries in the world.... YEAAAAA RIGHT!

Let's just say my personal goal was to place in the top 10.... I didn't place in the top 10. But, I made the best of my experience..