I can’t believe another year is in the books. Time really
does pass so quickly. I do not know why my birthday brings me to a year of
reflection. This year it brought me to a lifetime of reflection. It’s funny but
my inside self does not have an age. As a matter of fact she hasn’t aged at
all. My inside self is just in constant growth. For me, life makes way more sense in my thirties. Maybe I’m a late
bloomer… But, I feel like my thirties are much more enjoyable. I’m not fighting
fear, I don’t really care about the opinions of others.. Failure does not scare
me. I know and understand my boundaries. Most importantly.. I know my worth, and I value myself… Anyway, I
thought I would share everything that I know as of today.
1.
Life is a beautiful gift.
2.
Almost anything will work, again. You have to
unplug, even for a few minutes… This includes you.
3.
I do not believe that anything outside of you
can fix you. Not sex, one night stands, alcohol or drugs. You cannot date or buy this either. It sounds
horrible, but this is the truth. Everything you need to heal you is already inside you.
4.
Everyone is messed up, insecure, scared and hopeless.
Yes, even the people who look like they have it all together. Even those people
are more like you than you may think. You can’t compare your insides to someone
else’s outsides. Sadly, you can’t fix them, save them, give them a better life
or help them get sober either. I have learned that the best thing you can do is learn
to love yourself. Happiness radiates into the universe like a breath of fresh
air…
5.
Families; hard, so frigging hard. No matter how
much you may wish yours to be different, cherish or want it to change. It is
what it is. I remember when I use to be embarrassed of my family. We didn’t
have a lot, mom was sick, nobody really got along. After losing mom, I realize
that it’s a miracle they are even alive. Even if they are annoying. I believe
Earth is our school for learning. Forgiveness being one of the hardest lessons
to understand. So, start with your own family. Learn to forgive. It really does
wonders for your soul.
6.
Writing, do it often. It is therapy for your
soul. It’s one place you are safe. Some of my deepest pains have been
discovered through pen and paper. My last goodbye to my mother was written
after her death. And then burned after reading it to her in heaven.. Your story is your gift to the world. Own everything about you and write about
your discovery. It’s really a fascinating adventure.
7.
Grace. It took me a long time to understand what
the hell this meant. One of my mentors told me to walk through
uncomfortable events with grace and dignity. That was not easy for me to do at
first. However, I learned. Mostly through praying. I
learned that God loves Oprah just as much as he loves me, my fiancé and my son.
Crazy right? Grace in your soul is what saves you, what heals you.
Grace has changed me. It will change you too.
8.
God. It was such a strange uncomfortable topic
for me. I wanted to know him, love him and trust in him. However, I had no idea
what God was. I found him one night alone... very lonely. With my great
grandmothers rosary in my hand. I have never felt alone since. It took me a lot
of uncomfortable moments to find my way to him. Now, I continue to practice my
appreciation for him. For my life! I LOVE him. You should too!
9.
Faith. If you do not have faith you do not have
anything. Do whatever you need to do. Your life, your soul your entire being is fueled
from faith. Once you understand this and walk in it, life will start to bless
you with miracles. My life is FULL of miracles.
10.
Exercise. If you want to live a good life you
have to exercise.. Nearly everyday. I promise there is no way around this.
There is no pill, no supplement, no magical ANYTHING that can give this to you.
Ask any doctor!
11.
Second chances. We all get chances. Second,
third fourth. It’s up to us to be open to these opportunities to change our
life. Our willingness to do something different. Fear paralyzes, some people forever.
As I stated first. Life is a gift. Wake up each day refreshed, excited, full of love,
faith centered and God driven to be the very best version of you! The world
needs this, badly!
12.
Forgiveness. F’ing LAME! That is what I use to
think of forgiveness. My mentor told me to pray for the people who have hurt
me. I honestly thought she had lost her damn mind. For the longest time I
REFUSED to pray for my enemies.. Until, I had realized that I wanted a life
differently inside then the one I was living. The only way I could release some
of my negative feelings was to do this. It was super awkward and definitely not
sincere at first. However, I am good at this
now.. Because I have practiced. Just like anything else you put effort into..
You will become good at it.. Sometimes even GREAT!
13.
Boundaries. They are so damn hard to understand
at first. As a matter of fact, I had to read and learn through my mentors what
“boundaries” even meant. And, when I
started applying them in my life, they totally pissed people off. Eventually, those people went away forever.. And believe me, that is a good thing. Because it created space for those who would honor, respect and love me. If you want a life that feels good, you must do what is good for you. No explanations, no guilt, no strings attached! DO IT!
14.
Love. You cannot fight it. You need it. Your
life is empty without it. Self love is number one. If you do not have this, you
cannot truly give love to another. Not a partner, child or friend. Love
yourself first, meet your needs and do what you need to feel whole on the
inside. NOTHING else matters, or will work if you do not have self love. I
promise!
15.
It’s going to be ok. No matter what you are
facing right now. No matter how hopeless you may feel. No matter how bad it
seems. Everything will be ok. God, Faith, Family and Love. That’s all you need. If you do not have this, start working on
getting it. The journey will be tough at first. But, it will not be any tougher
than where you are at right now. If you want to change you have to put in the
work. Self work. Self love. Yes, everything will be ok when you have this!
16. Death. It’s f’ing heartbreaking. Literally! The
people that you want around forever die first. The pain never goes away. EVER!
I’ve learned that you are not supposed to get over them. They will always live
within you. In your memories and in your heart. Moms been gone for some time
now. She still shows up every day, multiple times. Once she even came on her
birthday in the form of a butterfly. I swear! However, her absence still makes
me breathless, at times lost and almost always home sick. Grief, tears and
friends heal you. I once heard that tears will bathe baptize and hydrate you. I
believe this now that I have lived it. I know for certain that we are all just
passing through here. So, hold onto the ones you love. Tightly… because these moments do not last forever.
It’s hard to understand, but I know this for certain.Love to you all,
Jess
